You should say it as often as works for you, but I mean you both— you as a couple. Who Says 'I Love You' First, and Why It's So Important There’s more to saying “I love you” than sharing a powerful emotion. Two I married (one still married to), one I said it too frivolously and prematurely...it didn't last long, and one was "the one who got away", the one who you still think about even though you are in a very different place now. [–]NeedlecrashLET'S GET NUTS. and join one of thousands of communities. [–][deleted] 110Answer Link10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (8 children). Was it planned or spontaneous? Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! I told my ex I loved her about three months in. I believe it was about a month and a half to two months in. Time stood still, birds fell from the sky (that's what it felt like, anyways).......he gave me a huge smile, hugged me and said: "awwww, I love you too!". Its just how it works. Once you know him pretty well, it should become clear how he feels about you. "There are a lot of people that have a formulaic view of love and set arbitrary standards," says Siegel. Do not ask for gift ideas; visit /r/gifts. Go fucking ask them yourself. Straight men, what's the strangest thing you've been told not to do because, “thats gay?”. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy. Another month later she said it again and I replied with the same. [–]quantum_man 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children). 7 years later we got married and have been for nearly 20 years. I'd be all, "You don't know me, fool!" Even if you’re the one who asked him out, there are probably still a few things he’d like to do first, and professing his love for you could be one of them. Do not storm into the modmail with a bad attitude if this is the removal reason. However, Marie Claire dating columnist Rich Santos counters that men might be holding back on making that first move for fear of not hearing "I love you" in return. In this study, the majority of subjects believed that women normally say "I love you" first, near the two-month mark. But she loved me before I loved her. What do you keep around your place? I wanted to first, about a month and a half in, but she somehow sensed it, and cut me off, told me it was too early. Message the moderators with any questions/comments. He did. He was showing me something in his phone, on a corner, and received a message from his mom. We traveled to the beach the day before, so maybe some salt water seeped into my brain. However, from the same studies men tend to not mean it and is used to get to a goal (i.e. It shouldn't matter who says it first. I don't think anyone I know ever SAID "I love you", but equally I don't think anyone ever doubted they were loved. I said it first after a year and two months or something like that. I've learned not to say it if you don't mean it. Everyone expresses love in different ways. [–]SirCyclopsMale 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children), She said it first, I waited a month later to say it but I had just gotten out of a 4 year relationship. Relationship (in one form or another) is about 2 years old. ASKREDDIT: How long into your relationship did you say "I love you" for the first time? I didn't know if she had actually said it or if I dreamed it, so I didn't respond immediately as I tried to decide which it was. Get an ad-free experience with special benefits, and directly support Reddit. "What do you think of this?"). Women should only say the "L" word first if they are prepared to let their partners go should the response prove to be less than desirable. I said it first two months into dating. When you say it, it should be to confirm what she already knows because of all the things you've already done for her. Pool's open. Then I smiled, rolled over to face her, and whispered in her ear "I love you too," and she grabbed my face and started kissing me. Men in relationships: who said I love you first? The beginning of a relationship is always plagued by the same question: When should you say 'I love you' for the first time? We were laying in bed one morning when she said it. During this time we both kept catching ourselves almost saying it and eventually did. Whoever feels comfortable first but it shouldn’t really matter, New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the relationship_advice community, Continue browsing in r/relationship_advice. Do not ask yes/no or one word answer questions. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. I lemons you" and i'd get giggly over it being the girly girl i am knowing we were almost saying it and messing with each other over it.) 2. Because I kinda love you.". Ask A Dating Question - https://datinglogic.net/ask-a-question/ Answer A Dating Question - https://datinglogic.net/forums/forum/qa/ She did. My girl did. I was barely awake, she was much more alert. If you can't keep it in anymore, you might be the one to burst. You're the man, you're not supposed to have squishy emotions like 'love.' Listen to her babble about her day, plan out a whole date to amuse her, think of the most random thing she ever said in passing and treat that like her deepest desire, for fun. She said it right back. If a guy says I love you first, he probably will reduce the interest the girl had initially. This feeling of feeling like I should love him led to the feeling of me feeling like I should tell him. How many friends do you have, how often do you talk/ meet up/ text, and how old are you? We arent dating anymore but I didnt say it back right away because I wasnt sure if I did or not yet. My wife did. Oh well. [–]jakesboy2 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children). During the trip I was debating whether or not I loved him, but at that moment, it hit me that I really didn't want to lose him. Not knowing which way it was going to go, once we made it to my parking lot, we were saying bye, and I just blurted out: "you know what sucks on top of everything else? My girlfriend said "I love you" first a month after starting our relationship and I felt the same way and told her right back. Keep your question concise. when do you know you are ready? It had it's awkward moments because I wanted to save it and say it at just the right moment when it felt perfect.We knew the feeling was mutual, and i never knew two people could really connect and feel this way about each other in such little time. its too risky for men to say "I love you" first. 2 year relationship, some good, alot of bad. If you are like most people, you might be tempted to say women. In my last relationship, she let me know early on how much she'd fallen for me, but she also said that she wanted to share the moment with me. He had gotten out of a very long term relationship shortly before dating me - … Lady boners for miles. I did, I wanted to about two months in but I pussied out and waited 3.5 months. Do not post just to push an agenda. What are the top 3, most valuable attributes which you think are required for a great and lasting romantic relationship? It was about 6-7 months in and I said it first. He said it to me a few minutes after, and I said it back a few hours later. She told me to shut up and got out of the car. I had the same fear when I said it, but it just seemed like a really opportune time to say it. We were in his grandfather's funeral, 5 months dating. Meant it to :D, [–]HellhoundsOnMyTrail 770Answer Link76 points77 points78 points 5 years ago (5 children). He said it on purpose about a week later. I said it first time at about 3 months. We had sex before I said I love you, if that matters. It was a few months in. I said it first about 5 months in and she cried for like 2 minutes before saying it back. Participate elsewhere on Reddit to gain experience and karma before trying to post here. "talking about me. Be respectful. She wanted to say it first, but she was afraid it would freak me out and scare me off. I did, she ignored it for about a week. She said it back, but she never meant it. I've said it to 4 women. Then I was fully awake. No clickbait (i.e. Eventually, it'll pop out anyways! I think I love you". We agreed to say whatever we needed to say at the same time, and both ended up saying, ‘I love you.’ It felt so awesome to say and we were both super giddy the rest of the night. In every case for be its been me who said it first, but only after she very very strongly hinted that she loved me just didn't wanna be the first to say it. But as I age I'm realizing those feelings probably aren't love. There is a big difference between guys and girls in relationships. You should say it if you feel it. Just go for it. Were happy together another 1,5 year after that. After asking him if I had heard him correctly, I told him I loved him too and sat with a stupid grin on my face for the rest of the night. I knew it at 3 months though. [–]cobalt_coyoteMale -4 points-3 points-2 points 5 years ago (0 children). Pardon my lack of lady flair! Usually me. That includes boobs, butts, and your weird eyebrows. https://www.vixendaily.com/love/should-you-say-i-love-you-first-or-wait-for-him Usually around 3-5 months. I've had a couple guys say it to me before I was ready (looking at you, guy that got smashed on our first date and told me he was in love with me), but out of my four long term relationships, it's 2:2. Men who leave the toilet without washing your hands: why? Go to http://www.WomensHealthMag.com/Sex-and-Relationships for more dating advice. So my question is if everybody responding here actually meant when they first said it? ( we said lemons as a substitute till we felt it was the perfect moment. " In my experience, while women might feel exactly the same, they tend to hold back on declarations of love for fear of "scaring men off". [–]cheekiestdocMale 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children). Then she quietly, somewhat worriedly said "Did you hear me?" When you're ready to say "I love you," the first thing you should feel is happier than you've ever felt before. [–]thingpaint 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children). We had only been dating for about a month but had known each other for close to eight months by that point, and on New Year's Eve at some point, we were kissing and drunk and he went "Are we at the 'I love you' stage yet? I've had a couple guys say it to me before I was ready (looking at you, guy that got smashed on our first date and told me he was in love with me), but out of my four long term relationships, it's 2:2. It robs all of your power and places it firmly in her hands. I don't think women should say "I love you" first. It may sound like a fairly trivial thing to discuss who should say “I love you” first, but creating and maintaining the right dynamic when in a relationship with a woman is very important. 44. My feeling is that you should let him say it first. It slipped out of her 3 months in. Downvoters: Who are we to doubt Han Solo? She said "I love you." Hi Love Shy, Yes. ... Doctors of reddit, what’s it like when you go in for a doctors appointment? Lady here; I said it first. [–]ferocity562Female 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children). This is not a fucking optional rule. If you want to be a sad sack and complain about your life, go to /r/rant or /r/ForeverAlone. Should it always be the guy? Go ahead and say "I love you" first. [–]yetslineFemale 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children). Yesterday, all I ate was two boxes of Oreos. [–]SemperSometimes11 140Answer Link13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children). I did. The other surprise - the majority of subjects also believed that women were happier upon hearing the profession of love. sex). I was single a week later. *blushes *, [–]Dajbman22♂ CROWN PRINCE OF PIZZA 60Answer Link5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children). Congratulations on the love. I think love is more special than sex, so idk. [–]thedictatorscut♀ 60Answer Link5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children), He said it first. [–]junkeee999 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children). Posted by 12 years ago. But at the same time, avoid waiting for the girl to say it 1st. She said it as I was dropping her off at her place after a few months of dating. We do not allow questions/comments from throwaways or accounts with low karma (< 5 for comments, < 10 for posts). There are subs like /r/politics and /r/PoliticalDiscussion if you want to debate political ideas or candidates. I said it back about a week or two later. [–]HAHAHAgaryMale 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children), We both sort of said it at the same time. Introverts whose love language is physical touch, how do you balance your alone time while also getting your closeness needs met? Fellow dudes, what fictional job/company from a movie, tv show, or book would be an awesome place to work at? Revealed: Why COVID-19 kills some patients but not others Read the Frequently Asked Questions wiki and do a search before asking a question. Sometimes automod fucks up - if you think it did, you can message us, but if you roll up to the modmail with a fucking attitude, we're not going to indulge you. I've never said it to any SO since. Do not post negative/forever alone rants or whiny posts. I loved her about three months in while lying in bed - it seemed! Those feelings probably are n't love political ideas or candidates our discretion you and your eyebrows... 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago ( 0 children ) of me feeling like I should love him to... Of a guy says I love you. `` oh shit '' moment, but she never meant to. Fool! about someone's/some group 's actions, behavior, or at least I felt I! 'S always heartwarming to hear stories about longtime friends falling back together in a.! Feelings probably are n't love but whatever, I wanted to actually mean when! 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